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    Civic Coalition Rules the Penitentiary Roost

    In a stunning revelation that will surely make their campaign strategists proud, Donald Tusk’s Koalicja Obywatelska (KO) has clinched a landslide victory behind bars. Yes, you read that right. The incarcerated population of Poland has spoken, and they are fervently supporting the party that’s promising them a brighter, freer tomorrow.

    KO’s dominance in the prison vote is nothing short of spectacular. At Warsaw-Białołęka Remand Centre, KO received a whopping 68.7% of the vote. Clearly, Tusk’s message resonates where it counts — with those who have ample time to ponder political promises. In second place, with a mere fraction of the votes, was Trzecia Droga, followed by the also-rans: Konfederacja, Lewica, and PiS. Yes, PiS, the party often touted as tough on crime, managed a grand total of 28 votes. Ouch.

    The trend continued across other penitentiary institutions. In Rawicz, KO captured 60.88% and 66.42% in two separate commissions, leaving PiS with single-digit support. Over in Wronki, KO’s popularity soared to 66.96%, while PiS barely managed to scrape together six votes. Kraków’s Remand Centre showed similar affection for KO, giving them 57.54% of the vote. Meanwhile, PiS could only muster a paltry 16 votes.

    The electoral results in these microcosms of criminal justice reform reflect the KO’s iron grip on the captive electorate. Maria Ejchart, the current Deputy Minister of Justice, must be beaming with pride. After all, she’s the mastermind behind the plan to reduce the prison population by 20,000 and restore numerous privileges to the inmates. If only every constituency was so appreciative.

    So, in a twist of fate, it appears that those who’ve lost their liberty are the biggest fans of the party promising to give it back. One can almost hear the cheers of joy from cell blocks across the nation. As the results show, nothing says “thank you” quite like a vote for KO.

    Next time you’re pondering the complexities of political strategy, just remember: sometimes, the key to electoral success is simply being locked in.

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