No one saw this coming. Minister Waldemar Żurek appeared on TV Republika yesterday evening, and a surprise was waiting for him. He was greeted by Zorro. “I am the masked Zbigniew Ziobro. Sakiewicz smuggled me back from America,” he declared. As if that were not enough, a second Zorro suddenly emerged behind him. He claimed the first one was an impostor and that he himself was the real Ziobro. The prosecutor general was left speechless and did not even react to the suggestion that perhaps he ought to call the “illegal prosecutor” Korneluk.
“This man is cursed with bad luck. His crocodile died, and Ziobro escaped him. Trump is worse than a street-sweeper machine. He’ll end up paying compensation because Żurek has ground his teeth down from sheer rage because of him. Iustitia will file the motion, the CJEU will award damages, and the European army will enforce the payment from Trump,” announced one of the Ziobros, whose voice sounded somewhat reminiscent of Piotr Lisiewicz, host of the program Piachem w Tryby.
At that point, both Zorros, together with rapper Wujek Samo Zło, began comforting the cardboard cutout of the minister, wiping away his tears with tissues and even helping him… blow his nose.
The second Zorro then spotted Dariusz Matecki, an associate of Ziobro, in the studio and greeted him with the words:
“Dareczek, it’s me, Zbyszek, do you recognize me? Dareczek, just don’t tell anyone who I am!”
During Piachem w Tryby, the hosts also presented a new parody version of Adam Mickiewicz’s Father’s Return, titled Ziobro’s Return:
Ziobro does not return; through mornings and through nights
I wait for him in tears and dread.
Tusk has flown into fury; every pore in me ignites,
And Trump supporters crowd the road ahead.
Come forth, little Giertychs, all together now, arise,
To Danzig, to Monciak, up the hillock climb.
Kneel before the ruler of the streets,
I beg you, poor Żurek pleads this time.